Finding time for your hobbies when you’re married

3 years ago, i was in happy relationship with this girl. We’ve been dating for two years already, and we got along perfectly well, so we thought it would be reasonable to consider possibility of marriage. After considering it for a while, we made a decision to get engaged, and announced it to the world. As i expected, pretty much everyone was very happy for us, my parents even threw a party to celebrate. But what i didn’t expect, was the reaction of some of my guy friends. Most of the guys in my circle are married, but some of them half-jokingly warned me that i didn’t know what i was getting myself into. They said that i was going to lose at least some part of my independence and wouldn’t have time to hang out, especially if we decided to have a kid. I had thought about both of those options before, and wasn’t worried – yes, i had given up on some things to make the relationship work, but i didn’t think those hobbies were as important as being with the right person. In my experience, the reasons for being unhappy guy in a relationship were mainly lack of communication and honesty.

 Even though i wasn’t scared of losing my independence in the slightest, i decided to research more and find out what experiences did other people in the similar situations have. So naturally, i started looking on online communities to find authentic views of people. I looked on golf forums, because golf is my favorite sport. And found out that quite a lot of people were having troubles getting away for a weekend to play 9 holes. I honestly don’t know how that’s possible, but if you can’t get your partner to agree to let you spend some time on your own or with your friends, you must be something wrong. Although one thing that i have in my favor is financial stability. So even if my wife feels tired, i can still pay for sitter to occasionally look after our kids. In those times, me and my wife usually go out to golf course together.

 Oh i forgot to mention that – another great way to get a pass to spend time with your friends, is to get your wife familiar with environment and people you’ll be spending time with. If she is familiar with what goes on on golf course, or who are you playing with, chances of her collaborating is much higher. That’s what i did – years ago, when we weren’t even engaged, i got her one of the best women’s club sets for her birthday. Please note that i didn’t just get that present out of the blue, she happened to have mentioned how much she loved golf. So i got her that gift, and we’ve been playing together ever since.

 To wrap this up, i’m going to give advice that most of you have probably already heard, but it’s the truth, so there isn’t much more i have to say. Build your relationships on trust and respect, and your partners will reciprocate.